Month: June 2008

Shortshaking – Don't Be Man'hand'led

Mulder

Between my non political day job in technical sales and my political volunteering, I shake A LOT of hands. And I mean A LOT. And in shaking so many hands, I have come to the conclusion that there is one specific type of handshake that I really dislike.

And that is the “shortshake”.

For those who do not know what I mean, a “shortshaker” is the type of person who has a good firm grip, but tends to start the grip “short” or early. This results in the shortshaker gripping the fingers of the “shortshakee” which makes it impossible for the shortshakee to return the grip as their fingers are immobilized by the shortshake.

What I would call a good handshake is when the webbing between the thumb and index finger of both people is close enough so that when both shakers grip their fingertips can curl around the other person’s hand so that both can get a good grip in.

I dislike the shortshake so much that I have started saying things like “let’s do that shake again and let me get a grip this time.” or if it’s someone I am close with I might even say “hey, don’t short shake me…you make me feel like a wimp. Give me a chance to shake your hand properly.” and I will then reshake. My wife thinks this is probably offending the person, and she may very well be right but I have stopped caring.

In actuality, I think the response is either appreciative or earning me a bit of respect. The appreciation comes from those who just have never thought about it and perhaps feel that I have helped them realize what a good handshake is. The respect is a different story. I feel that many shortshakers do it as a sign of power as it leaves the shortshakee in an awkward position. By standing up for a good shake, I am showing those types that I am willing to stand up for myself and that I cannot get walked on.

So stand up to the shortshake with me.

Liberal Saboteurs Feed Stephane Dion A Big Fat Shiftburger

Mulder

I cannot help but think that someone in the Liberal Party must really have a hatred on for Stephane Dion. When I told a friend about this feeling, he quickly responded….”No Shift Sherlock!!”

In naming their new carbon tax a “green shift”, it became quite clear that someone within the Liberal Party has “shift for brains”. I mean let’s look at this seriously.

G – reen
S – hift
T – ax

Bwahhhahhhhahhhhahhhhahhhhhaaaaaaa. For real??? Another GST??? I wonder what kind of “shift” the Liberals were smoking when they came up with this name? When the Gomery commission was going on, Conservatives thought it was the gift that kept on giving. This GST2 is going to be an even bigger gift.

I am simply dumbfounded to think that there wasn’t a single person in the Liberal Party who did not notice this acronym. To top it all off, there is now talk of a lawsuit because the name GreenShift is already taken. Uh Oh!! Somebody really stepped in it this time.

I was further amazed when people immediately starting calling it “the Green Shaft”. It took less than 24 hours for opposition parties to come up with this new nickname. Surely over the past few weeks/months that the Liberal plan was being developed there was a single Liberal somewhere…anywhere, that could have seen this coming from a mile away. If not, then I would think they really are not ready to run a nation.

If we weren’t sure saboteurs existed before, we sure are now. I think this may be an interesting summer to sit back and watch the “shift hit the fan” within the Liberal Party.

Cure For The Hiccups

Mulder

This morning I woke up with a nasty case of the hiccups. In taking care of my problem with my usual cure, it dawned on me to share this with everyone on the web via my blog.

I learned this cure from my sister and have been eternally grateful ever since, for this cure works, bar none, EVERY time I have the hiccups.

Not only is it readily available EVERYWHERE in Canada, it tastes good too.

The answer is a Sour Cream Glazed Donut from Tim Hortons.

Stop laughing. It probably doesn’t have to be this particular type of donut, but simply some form of a cake donut.

I have had the hiccups numerous times with friends in the car and, no word of a lie, one single bite and swallow and I could toss out the rest of the donut because my hiccups are always gone. My friends and co-workers are all astounded and I am hoping some of you out there give this a try and let me know how it works for you.